washes whiter UBS
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Is It Safe To Have An Eye Brow Wax After Tanning
High Treasurer Revered and Feared:
ask your attention, guidance, advice and supervision to steer the crisis that is brewing in our main office in the land, Switzerland .
1. FACTS
As you remember, Bradley Birkenfeld, director of wealth management division of UBS , brought in June 2007 the Department of Justice United States a series of documents incriminating to their bank operations mafia terrorism, arms trafficking and tax evasion. we still do not explain this breach of security of our recruitment archidiablos that in 150 years had not failed even once (the first time that one of these miserable units based on carbon chemistry betrays us.) After more than two years of research and negotiations between the U.S. and Switzerland, which dilate as much as possible the process and achieve the satisfaction of a minor fine (less than 600 million euros for such lucrative activities), we could not avoid however, that UBS was forced to supply the names customers fraudsters U.S. thus violating the confidentiality guaranteeing far covert capture our souls for our Lord Satan. And what's worse, this has undermined the sense of impunity our spoiled children who have had to pay thousands of dollars to avoid jail, which in turn is supposed to result in a reduction of Fidelity (deleted greed, we can only fear to keep them subjugated, so I ask permission to take extraordinary actions in this regard). These are far-reaching consequences that we are starting to suffer now and those that seek the help of your experience and wisdom.
2. Our first reaction
a) Specific actions .- To discourage future betrayals, we moved all the threads until 40 months of sentence for the reporter, after which advertise in the media failure to control the unprecedented emphasis on the case (an order that the Treasury who provided information that allows you to raise money this way may not lead to new crimes.)
b) Long-term action .- We have reviewed the whole process of systematic fraud to prevent the accumulation of evidence :
or emails (how can you leave these things in writing? The stupidity of these embodiments of the stupidity never fills my amazement) .
or training manuals on how to circumvent security controls, information hiding "sensitive" customers, etc.
or Presentations range of services which established explicitly illegal transactions made on behalf of customers.
or Listings phone.
or addresses.
Although we can not relax. Our servers are quite careless humans, as we see once again with the scandal of investment banking. They really lack consistency and also for the practice trial of Evil efficient
3. CHALLENGES
The secrecy is compromised. And no need to explain at length that if we lose the possibility of using tax havens them to undertake money laundering essential in our activities, we are doomed to a mediocre harvest of souls. This is undoubtedly the core of our entire system of funding, without which we can not take any relevant policy. And although I do not be alarmist, I'm afraid this is just the beginning, as confirmed by the case of Credit Suisse and the recent registration of its offices by the German police.
Who can we trust if even banks fail us fear that we are not able to protect effectively as we have done so far? Furthermore, this could trigger widespread panic among our servers. Some cantons of Switzerland had always been far too safe haven for multinational non-financial, sheltered from harsh fiscal and other inconveniences. We must avoid at all costs to reconsider their strategy. If you decide to create wealth sustainably and equitably distribute are lost. Remember what happened to us in the Metro Reason.
I look forward your orders peremptory.
slavishly
dragged Your server.
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